Facebook Religion

I hate Religion, but love Jesus, and by religion I mean whatever it is you believe that I don’t like, and by Jesus I mean everything I believe. You see, I can feel really good about myself, and pretend I’m really deep and contemplative, if I call my belief system Jesus, instead of religion, and never really think about the fact that I just de-personed Christ, turning Him into some set of feel good beliefs.

I really enjoy dressing in expensive fashionable clothes, prancing around, while filmed by multiple cameras in front of impressive architecture, and spouting off my incredibly lame poetry in time to thematic music. I find this is a great medium for pointing out how you religious people are all about the externals, you hypocrites. You need “Jesus.”

Feeling holy by telling you my sins, I really, really need to make sure that you know I “was” a masturbator. Connecting with my Puritan roots, I preach my being freed of the evils of alcohol and soft drugs, while pointing out that you religious types called Jesus a drunkard. No, I don’t know what drunkard means and I’ve never quite understood the word “irony.”

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13 Comments

Filed under Religion

13 responses to “Facebook Religion

  1. I didn’t watch past the 45 second mark or so, when he goes off about religion telling divorced single mothers that God hates them, and I thought, “this dipshit must have encountered several of the 37 American Christians who believe that God hates divorced single moms.”

    But then later I learned that the guy in the video is active at this church, http://marshill.com/ , and, well. I suppose it makes sense that Christians of that sort would try to baptize the whole hipster thing and fail miserably at such an easy goal.

  2. Thomas

    I was waiting for your response as I figured it’d be a little scathing. I laughed! And, just like Owen, when I found out he’s from Mars Hill I knew why his theology was “off”. His mentions of “Religion is people seeking God and Christianity is God seeking people” made me think this dude had to be a Calvanist.

  3. I only made it about a minute in the first time, but then I figured it was a good opportunity for an easy post.

    Its good to know I’m so predictable, Thomas.

  4. Thomas

    Considering everyone else in blogdom had something to say, it was safe to say you would, no?

  5. I can’t actually bring myself to watch the video, but I thought this was pretty funny. Until the end. I’m not sure if the video tagged at the end was meant to be ironic given how the post starts.

  6. It’s annoying to watch somebody promote their religion by declaring their hatred for religion.

  7. I like this guy’s style a bit more 🙂

  8. That was awesome! ‘Thought about eternity for 25 minutes and think you’ve come to some interesting conclusions!’ What did he say he couldn’t give for her ‘internet-assembled philosophy’?

  9. Aaron – he couldn’t give a ha’penny jizz.

  10. diane

    totally off-topic: anyone know what’s happened to Venny’s blog?

  11. Not specifically. That’s his MO, to randomly close up shop with no warning. I think this last blog was probably the third or fourth incarnation I’ve followed.

  12. diane

    Gosh, thanks. Well, if he opens another one, I hope I’ll find out about it. I need to have something besides Facebook to give up for Lent. 🙂

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